Thursday, January 12, 2012

What happened to the Marlboro Man?

Starting back in May of last year I took a part time job at a local grocery store to earn some extra cash to retire debt. It was the whole Dave Ramsey thing, pay off the small bills first and then the big ones. Everything worked out and the IRS is no longer sending me Christmas cards. If you ever want to see a true slice of people's lives get a job stocking shelves. The one thing that really surprised wasn't the extreme coupon clippers or the really confused men on the baking aisle. It is the couple who occupy the health and beauty aisle for a half an hour.
I must have missed the memo that said shopping and smelling deodorants together is a bonding experience. Or asking your wife or girlfriend what she thinks about a certain type of face wash. Nothing against smelling good or washing your face but how about growing a pair of testicles and buying some charcoal and lighter fluid? I thought as men we were supposed to be somewhat rough around the edges. Head of the household should be a little more macho than requesting permission for the peach mango bath beads, don't you think? Do you really want your wife looking to you for advice on scented candles? Or garnering your insight concerning fabric softener? This can't be what we men were designed for. We can barely wipe our ass correctly.
Perhaps the Alpha male is no longer relevant? At the very least the numbers seem to be shrinking. It used to be that men were counted on to dress badly and behave even worse after a few drinks especially. Get a group of guys together and listen to the dirty jokes and war stories fly. Now you are just as likely to hear heartfelt debates about feelings, fashion or, gasp, face wash. Maybe its for the better but I'm not so sure. We were made differently for a reason. It's hard to ignore someone if they are talking about something you are actually interested in. And as men, we should be ignored at regular intervals. Part of our charm is that we are so clueless about the opposite sex. If we start communicating with knowledge and passion the world will be out of balance. Sports bars, bowling alleys and topless bars are doomed. The economy will collapse.
How alarming would it be if your wife came down on Sunday morning and took a seat on the couch while scratching herself and mumbling something about watching the pregame show? Or if she leans up on one cheek, passes gas and looks at you and said,"That felt really good"? Are you seeing the big picture yet? I think everybody can see the problems this role reversal would create.
So my advice to all the men wandering around the hair coloring or staring intently at the scented deodorants is simple: It's called bar soap or body wash. Pick one and get over yourself. As soon as you leave the store go and change the transmission in a strippers car to get your testosterone level back up. And please stop asking your wife or girlfriend to smell whatever it is your about to buy. Unless it's a steak that's on sale and out of date. Then its okay.

Till next.......

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

How can the days be so long and.....

yet the years seem to fly by. Waxing nostalgic is often a futile exercise (sort of like calling customer service for Comcast) but sometimes it serves a valuable purpose. Tonight I spent dinner with my parents and my wife and predictably some childhood stories were regaled, all of them highlighting what a well mannered and disciplined child I was. If you believe that please stop reading and seek help now.


Tripping down memory lane did get my addled mind thinking about the question I opened the blog with. Some days when we wake up the energy is just not there. On other days it seems the world is out to steal your joy before the coffee is even cold. Most of my days are not like that. fortunately, but there are some. Those are the ones that are easy to write off has just a "bad day". Nothing will ever prevent you or me from having those days, and that's okay. It's the other type of days that worry me.


During our conversation it came up that my oldest son is turning 16 in two weeks. It couldn't have been more than a year or two ago he was running around opening all the child proof cabinets and reading the labels of dangerous cleaning products.(True) Maybe a month or two has passed since I drove him to school to start 3rd grade in a new state and had to calm his nerves so he would get out of the car. Wasn't it last week when he won the Lion Pride award for best kid in the 5th grade? The years have just gone by so fast that I wish I could grab just a few days back and slow down so I could relish them more. But there is where the problem lies.


Life is lived day by day and sometimes minute by minute. We get in a routine that revolves around what is planned for the next day or the upcoming weekend. How many times a day to we find ourselves thinking about what we are doing after work? Or what we are going to do next month or next year? Personally I do it all the time. It's not about throwing myself into what I'm doing as much as it throwing myself into completing the next project. It's like a race where I keep moving the finish line every time I get close just to see how far I can go.


And the end result of all this is the days can seem very long indeed. The amount of work I accomplish is impressive but nothing more than routine. So the days go by slowly sometimes but one day you wake up and your child is getting his drivers license. The solution is one that is so obvious that I should have figured this out long ago. Time spent invested in people and their lives and triumphs and problems returns so much more than anything else. I'm not saying to quit work and hit the bars making friends, it's easier than that. The people we work with, live with, come in contact with are the people we should be concentrating on in the course of our day.


Can you name your co-workers children's name? Do you know where they come from or what type of music they like? The reason we should know is partly selfish but not entirely. It is more enjoyable to work with someone you know and care about. It is also easier to go through the everyday routine when the goal isn't just to get done. Perhaps the days will go by quicker but the years will seem to slow down because they will be filled with friendship and empathy for others rather than regret and lament for ourselves. Can it be that easy? I hope so.





Till next......