To my sons, when she says no, she really means yes.....

   My oldest son is of dating age and the younger one is right behind so now is the time to clear up one of the oldest misconceptions. I'm sure the two of you have been told many times by many different people that when a girl tells you no, it means no. I hate to confuse you but, just the opposite is true.
   She will look right at you and mumble something like,"No, I don't think so or maybe later or not right now." What she is really saying is, you make the decision for me, you know I want it but it will look so much better if you ask for it. Trust me on this point boys, she will really like when you ask for it. It makes her feel like you know exactly what she wants without having to come out and say it. (Even if you don't)
   Of course you know by now I am talking about ordering dessert on your first date. She is as nervous as you are and would much rather have a fork full of chocolate cake in her mouth so she doesn't have to talk to you. It could be the date is going well and she doesn't want to say something stupid. Or it could be you are boring her toward death by chocolate but, either way she wants the cake. It is your job to step up and order it with a disclaimer like, "I sure would like some cake, you'll have to help me eat it though." Oh, my hero!
   The complete opposite of this scenario is obviously, sex. If she says no, she means no, and you respect that at all times. Do not confuse the two. You will miss out on cake and end up in jail. Other than these 2 very specific examples, there are no rules to what a girl or woman means when she says no. The passive aggressive labyrinth of the female mind is ripe with danger at every turn. Until you figure out that,' no I don't mind if you play golf on our anniversary' means hell yes I mind, you will spend a fair amount of time trying to out where you went wrong. Don't spend too much time, there are no right or wrong answers. I do have advice that may help you get through the learning process.
   First thing you need to do is get a dog. Then, build a dog house that has electricity and air conditioning with cable television. You will be spending a lot of time here so you might as well be comfortable. Personally, I have spent so much time in the doghouse when friends stopped by I wasn't sure if I should shake hands or sniff their ass. But don't worry, you will always get out of the doghouse if you remember the 4 words (Make sure you repeat them in this exact order) You're right, I'm sorry. If you can remember that, you will be fine.

Till next.....