Confessions of an insomniac.......

For those who can roll into bed and blissfully fall to sleep, God bless you. The thought of actually sleeping a full eight hours is a radical concept to me. Most nights I get a solid three hours sleep and it suits me just fine. But when the real insomnia hits it's a bitch. Last week when I was nearing the completion of my novel it ramped up. Over the course of ten nights I crashed for eleven whole hours. Total. 66 minutes of sleep on average. When people hear this they actually say, "Boy could I get a lot done if I only slept that little". Let me address that for a minute.


It's Thanksgiving afternoon and dinner has been devoured. The Lions already lost by three touchdowns and the Cowboy game is about to start. Your pants are unbuttoned and you are prone on the couch and just before kickoff you feel yourself slipping into the inevitable tryptophan induced coma. But your eyes won't close. The neurotransmitters that are supposed to shut the brain down just go home early and don't quite finish the job. Every part of your body is so sleepy and groggy that just getting off the couch takes serious effort and forethought. Now imagine going through your day in that condition. Do you really think you would get anything done? Well that's what severe insomnia does for you. But there is good news.


Do you need to catch up on some reading? Plenty of time to wade through War and Peace. How about some television? With the addition of Netflix I'm on the third season of 24. Want to expand your sphere of knowledge? The internet is open all night long. I know more useless trivia than most Jeopardy contestants. Just ask me a question and I will set in motion boredom on steroids. What trees grow in Malaysia? That would be Mangrove and the Oil Palm. Along with over 8000 other plant species in the southeast rainforest. Last National Leaguer to win the triple Crown; Joe "Ducky" Medwick. Those are off the top of my head. The true benefit is if you are talking to someone you really would rather not be just start boring them to death. They will be looking at their watch and saying, "I got to run" before you even get to the eco-systems of the Amazon River. And when you're extremely tired it's even more fun than normal.


Even though I have found this more of a personality quirk than a true disease more research is being done on the effects of sleep deprivation. People who suffer from the type of insomnia I have generally die before they reach 40 years of age. That is a rather sobering number for a man of 49 to read. But until they come up with a real cure for it I will continue my duty as neighborhood night watchman. Not that it matters but it really isn't darkest before the dawn. It is darkest usually three hours before the sunrises. I've timed it. And you can count the stars in the sky. Anywhere from 238 to over 2300 depending on the conditions and location. The further in the country, the higher the count. Are you getting bored yet? They say you shouldn't eat right before bed. Whatever. I consume most of my calories between midnight and 4am. And I tip the scales at about 165 pounds.


The one thing that insomnia is really good for; late night blogging. Sleep well normal people. I'll have the light on for you when you wake up.





Till next.....