A chip and a chair......

is a term with which any poker player is familiar. It's based on the premise that as long as your in the game you have a chance to come back and win. The philosophy is one that I not only subscribe to, I live it everyday. To quote the late Jim Valvano, "Don't give up, don't ever give up." As long as you get up each morning and chew through your restraints you have a chance to succeed. But the phrase about the chip and the chair as an entirely different meaning in the world in which I live.
    Over 27 years ago I got my first chip and sat down in a metal chair to listen to drunks tell me about how they weren't drunks anymore. That first day at AA I sat with an almost bemused detachment wondering how anything I was hearing was going to help me quit drinking. Everyone who knew me and even some who didn't knew I had a serious problem with alcohol. But these folks were directing all their stories toward me when I announced this was my first meeting. I had a chip for staying sober one day and a chair to sit in. Using the poker analogy, I was in the game. That meant I had a chance even if it was a small one. Comebacks are the things people sings songs around the campfire about.
     Fast forward over five years and now I've got several chips in my pocket, one for each year of sobriety. Not only was I in the game but I felt like I had a chance to succeed. Then one day I decided to cash in my chips for a bottle of 100 proof Rumplemintz. After several hours of vomiting and fitful sleep I was out of the game. Without the pressure of multiple years of sobriety I threw in a couple of sporadic drunks just for good measure. Then in 1993 I staggered back into a comfortable(not really) metal chair and got a brand new chip. Like I said earlier, don't ever give up. Seven years later my pocket was full of chips again. The odds of quitting drinking for a true alcoholic once is very low, to do it twice is like getting a hole in one twice in the same round of golf. A long shot at very best.
     Crown Royal Reserve was the culprit of choice the next time I cashed in my chips. Back to the metal chairs and a brand new chip. Five years later and Blantons single batch bourbon plus so many other shots and different type of beers that my memory blurs them exactly, I was out of the game again. This time was different because I stayed out for an extended period of time. Some days were sober, most were not. The end of 2006 staggered into early 2007 before I ended up at rock bottom. With the help of several people who really cared about me I was able to get my new "chip" in the month of March 2008.
      This time there are no chips. Every year I say a quiet prayer of thanks and promise to not make the mistake I made before. After years of trying to figure out why some stay sober and most do not and die way too early I have come to a conclusion that works for me. It's actually a cornerstone of AA but I think it runs so much deeper that if affects every man, woman and child. What I was given was a gift and the only way I get to keep it is to pass it on. If I want to stay sober than I must help others to stay sober. Looking back on the demise of my sobriety after years of not taking a drink they all had one common factor. I had all the chips but I was no longer in the chair. Not physically in the chair but I wasn't carrying around the "chair", unfolding it and sharing what I had. I simply took it for granted.
      Yesterday was the fourth time in my life I have been blessed enough to get a five year "chip". Would I rather have one 27 year chip? Damn skippy I would but I don't for a reason. Once the point was reached where I expected to be sober and it became a source of pride, I was doomed. Sober alcoholics simply get up and do what normal people do everyday. Nobody gives the non-drinker a chip every year for being human. Just because I choose every day not to get drunk and be an ass should not be a badge of honor. If I choose to get up every day and share my story and reach out to people who I know are struggling that is different. Baring your soul to help another person is something to be lauded and be proud of. Just being sober is not enough, it's a start but it is not winning the game.The real epiphany was when I realized that this same principal applies to any and all gifts, not just sobriety.
      If you want more friends give more of your friendship to others. If you want more people to love you, love yourself and then love others the same way. If it's more wisdom you seek, pass some of your life lessons on to others. Imagine what your life and the lives of those around you might look like if we all practiced this. Would there be more laughter? More love and less hate, less gossip and even less sarcasm(not that sarcasm is always a bad thing), more achievement than disappointment? I'm willing to bet my remaining chips that the outcomes of everyday life would improve dramatically. Of course if I'm wrong and this isn't a key to keeping the gift I was given the chair will be pulled out from under me anyway and the odds of getting a fifth 5 year chip is the same as getting five of a kind in poker. Zero!

Till next........