Oh..That is what you mean by Bi.....I misunderstood.

   There was a time when I used to consider myself to be in pretty good physical shape. I enjoyed running, biking and lifting weights plus I would play any sport I was asked to play. Baseball, softball, tennis or golf, it didn't matter to me. If you needed a player I was in. That led me to doing endurance races like half marathons, century bike rides and then, a biathlon. Not the kind you see in the Winter Olympics where they ski with a rifle on their back and then stop and shoot at targets.( As a side note, who the hell came up with that idea?) This was one that combined riding a bike and running. Much better than skiing and shooting.

   When I read the entry form, okay, I glanced at the form and saw the time, date and distance, I didn't read the whole thing. I was far too busy to be bothered with details. What I gathered was it was a 10k run (6.2 miles for those who are metrically challenged) and a 52 mile bike ride. At the time I was running 30 miles a week and could ride a bike for 50 miles without much pain. Oh yea, I got this. After loading up my bike I drove to the event and strode to the check in desk brimming with confidence. That changed quickly.

   Smiling wide I asked the lady at the desk if we were running first or biking. She looked at me sideways before answering, "The run is first, then the bike ride and then you run again." I said thanks and turned away before it hit me. I turned back around and asked,"What did you mean by 'run again', or am I confused?" "You run the first 10k and then ride your bike for 52 miles and then run another 10k. That's why it's a biathlon." she said without much encouragement. The look on my face must have indicated I didn't know what I had volunteered for because she asked if I wanted to withdraw. I shook my head no and headed to drop off my bike. I could hear them laughing as I walked away. They knew I was screwed. So did I.

   The first run went well. I don't remember the exact time but I know it was under 45 minutes. Pretty good for a weekend warrior. Then came the bike ride. I killed it. The course was flat and the wind hadn't kicked up yet and I was on a roll. It was probably one of the fastest rides I have ever done. And once the competitive juices got flowing I pushed it to my limit. When I jumped off the bike I was feeling great.

   Then I stood up for the final run. I couldn't extend my legs. It looked like I had just climbed out of a clown car. Imagine you are sitting in a chair and then try and run. It is very hard and looks ridiculous. Normally I am a shade under 6 feet tall but I'm pretty sure I ran the entire way at about 4 feet 10 inches tall. My eyes seemed like they were level with my knees. If they had laptops back then I could have balanced it on my lap when I was running. If memory serves right, it was the last biathlon I ever participated in.

  The moral of this story is probably that you should read the entire entry form. Clint Eastwood actually gave pretty good advice when he said," A man's got to know his limitations." Well said, Dirty Harry, well said.

Till next......