It's all Greek to me.....

  The world is changing at such a rapid pace that an old dinosaur like me has trouble keeping up sometimes. Recently at work I took over running the dairy department and what I was exposed to certainly opened my eyes. In just three short decades some of things I knew as a kid aren't true anymore. The illusions of youth are shattered on an almost daily basis. It all started with the infatuation over Greek yogurt. I kid you not.
   When I was a kid you had to eat yogurt if you pissed your parents off while the other kids enjoyed ice cream. Nobody actually asked to eat yogurt unless you were trying to curry favor with someone or you had a rare disease that only yogurt would cure. But now it's not just yogurt, it's what type of yogurt. The weekend warrior athletes spend a fair amount of time analyzing the protein versus carb information before selecting Greek yogurt with running commentary, "The twelve grams in here is almost equal to a steak". Well, yes, but it is still yogurt. Activa is a popular choice for women which I suspect is a result of the ever flatulent Jamie Lee Curtis advertising. This will not come as a surprise to anyone that men don't need a food product to help expel gas. In addition most of us are so full of crap we don't need help getting rid of it.
    Remember when you used to go to the store to get a gallon of milk and you didn't need to ask what kind? Those days have gone the way of Atari and Pong. Lactose free, Soy milk, Almond milk, Organic milk and Goat milk are all options to help you live longer these days. Next to the type of milk the most important trait must be the expiration date. I've seen women with three kids in the shopping cart and two more following behind dig through the shelf like a homeless man in a steakhouse dumpster to find a gallon that expired in 13 days instead of 11. With all those kids the only way that milk is lasting 11 days is if she serves it with an eye dropper. Men are no different except they have to announce the conquest to anyone in ear shot, "This one's got an extra two days on it." His parents would be so proud.
     Last but certainly not least is the embryo whisperer. The shopper who grabs the dozen eggs and opens the container and studies them the way a doctor reads an x-ray. Visible cracks are child's play to this person, they are looking for the history of the egg. I've seen people spin an egg in the palm of their hand. Apparently the relationship of the yolk to the outer wall of the shell determines the flavor profile. Or perhaps this is just the last stop before heading back to the basement to perfect the time machine. It all seemed so much much easier when I was a kid. Well, it's time for me to play an 8 track of Cheap Trick and head off to bed.

Till next......