They have to chisel something.

This was the answer to a question I posed to one of my customers one day at the bar. He had just returned from a funeral and was lamenting that the preacher had done such a good job of covering up this man's mistakes and transgressions he thought he was at the wrong service. "Why would he do that?" was the question. And I answered my own question for him. "All these people are here to listen to him, they already dug the hole and they have to chisel something." was the full response. When it's all done, what will they chisel?


Now the answer for me is I could care less because I'm room temperature and toes up by then. But what they chisel may actually reflect what I do while I am here. Same goes for all of us I suppose. For years I was so proud of how many hours I could work. I still am. But do I want it to say "He outworked almost everybody still living"? That's sort of depressing. "He was a great employee"? That's worse. Now I'm dead and not even the boss. What if they told the truth? Tough love style. "He sacrificed most of the important things in his life because winning and getting ahead was what drove him. He missed birthdays, anniversary's, baby showers and funerals all for work." How grim is that? Work over everything else. Well, the good news is that most of us get a chance to change the chiseled words first.
That is what truth does for you. It slaps you right in the face. It stings too. Now the next question I have to answer is when will I change? When will the price I have gladly paid my whole life become too high? How many more events that really make life worth living will I continue to miss? And for what? To be the best! The best what? Husband? Obviously being on my third marriage would dispel that. Father? I don't know. My kids are great and have manners and do well in school but maybe that's because I wasn't there to screw them up. Businessman? Two bankruptcies and a couple of other business failures indicate I may not be Donald Trump.
Please don't think this is some sort of pity party. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is more about introspection. I provided for my family and that is what my job is. But did I have to keep trying to up the ante too much? I don't know, but I do know we get a chance to change. To change the words that are chiseled after we have taken leave. To leave a legacy not of hours worked but of lives that were changed. We all want to hear "job well done my faithful servant" but I would like to have a nice word or two carved out for my boys to see as well.

Till next.......

Through the eyes of a child.....

The world must seem so much different than it does to us old folks. Sometime ago my two boys and I were driving to Monteagle (between Chattanooga and Nashville) and you could see the grey clouds of snow dropping on the mountain has we started our winding climb upwards. My first thought was if this was going to make the roads slick. Then I wondered when I checked the antifreeze and if my tires had enough tread. I didn't see a forecast that said this was coming so we didn't have winter gear. If the car does breakdown we are going to be freezing. I hope I get a signal here on the side of the mountain and on and on. About the time I had run through all the possibilities of horrible death my eleven year old son said from the backseat, "Cool".

Fast forward to this week. I am taking a winter vacation with my wife and the four kids back in the town I got old older in. (I would never profess to growing up anywhere because I haven't) The excitement the kids show for piles of snow and cold weather just amazes me. Matthew, my stepson, is so wired he can't sit still. The rest of the kids aren't far behind. They will stay out for hours on end. Doing nothing more than being out in the cold. Now granted you don't see the volume of snow in Atlanta or Memphis that is on the ground here but it hasn't been thrilling enough to get the adults to stand in it. At least not more than is required by the kids.

So it got me to thinking, "What if we saw the world through the eyes of a child?" Not the holding our breath till we get another cookie type. The type of wonderment with anything new or different. The type of vision that allowed you to laugh when something was funny without thinking who you might offend first. The type of vision that allowed you to try to dance because it looked fun or slide down a hill on a sheet of plastic because it looked fun. The type of vision that allowed you to meet people who looked different and talked different than you and not be afraid of them. Or wonder what they wanted from you. The type of vision that allowed you to love people because you can. Not find a reason why you shouldn't.

The innocence of a child is a beautiful thing. Watching them build a snow fort and slide down hills is a great example for us adults. Fun and enjoyment are what we decide they are. If we let the world beat the child out of us, who will pass it along? Who will show the next generation what it is like to be a kid? Yep, I think it is up to us to keep on being a kid as long as we can. Maybe for a couple hours on the weekend. Or for the first hour after work do something you used to do when you were a kid. Stay a kid at heart. The next time someone asks you where you grew up you can tell them where you got older, you never grew up.

Till next..........

Brother can you spare a dime? No, how about some time?

Times are tough. For almost all of us. The paycheck seems to be gone after 13 days and the next two days are buttered noodles and jam sandwiches. One big problem and we are back to broke. It will surely get better and it's been a lot worse but during the holidays there seems to be more pressure. Presents to buy. Parties to go to. Work gets busier for some of us. And now you get a phone call asking you to help out this charity or that. Seriously. We don't have any extra money. We have kids and cars and mortgages. We'd love to, but money is just too tight and maybe if you could call next year we could help. If there was anything else we could do?

There is. Volunteer. Every single charity out there needs some help. Yes, money is great. It is critical to get the donations to fund our charities. But it is only part of it. They all need people. And we are people. It doesn't cost more than gas and time to help. Most of us are so quick to talk about how tough things are until we see people who really have it bad. It's about perspective. Go and give your time. Find a charity and just call and ask what you can do to help. They will have a need for you. And then the true miracle occurs. You change.

I know of what I speak here. I have given money and time. At the end of the day the feeling you have after volunteering is nothing short of miraculous. Your problems become so very small. Again, it's perspective. This doesn't mean we don't have problems but helping someone with theirs makes ours seem manageable. And this miracle feeds itself. Once you volunteer it's amazing how many people want to join you. But someone has to take the lead. Is it you? Can you imagine what the world would look like if everyone get one day to help a charity? Just one day a year. If you can't do a day, send a check. If you can, do both.

So here is the challenge. Volunteer one day before Christmas. Who is with me?



Till next......