The joke is on us.

It was 3 years ago today that a very fine young actor slipped away by an accidental overdose of sleeeping pills and anti-anxiety drugs. He was also a father, son and brother. He was a champion chess player at the age of 10. A childhood star who also made it as an adult. And more than that he was anyone of us. He had sleeping issues. Insecurity gnawed at him daily despite his success. He was said to be shy without a camera rolling in front of him. But he was not a drug abuser. So what could cause that much torment to lose your own way? The part you play.

Growing up we can't help but play different parts. We can't be true to ourselves because we don't know who we are yet. But when you get older you learn who you are. And then you learn to play different parts. When you're with the guys it's time to cuss, belch and expel any other gas you care to. The more inopportune time to do so the better. Then with your lady it's time to put on the gentleman hat. Or play the kind, sensitive, caring guy that your not. Same thing at work. You have a roll to play. And you damn sure better play it the way the script is written. Don't improvise. That could screw up your marriage or career or long term freindships even.

Now here is the joke, what happens when you can't get out of character? The part you are playing becomes you. That could never happen, right? It happens to people everyday. You play the victim role in a relationship and all of sudden you forget how independant you truly are. You play the role of hard ass at work and you forget that deep down inside you want folks to prosper as much if not more than the business. But you're stuck. So many times we take the easy way out of our problem. We look to some sort of drug or thrill or bad behavior to mask the conflict we have inside ourselves. We feel hurt and mis-understood because people don't know us for who we are. Because we have become what we sought to portray.

So how do you fix it? The only way I found that works is to get out of yourself. Do something for others. It doesn't matter what it is as much as the fact it's not about you. It never really is. We all think we are the most important thing going until we realize everyone thinks that. Then it slowly dawns on you and me and everyone else that we all are in this together. And the character we are playing is already written but his role is defined everyday. Be true to your role in life. The Who said it quite well, "Who Are You?"

Till next....