I heard the gun go off.....

 I just didn't realize right away that it was a starter pistol. About 11 months ago when I was let go from my full time job the gun went off signaling the start of a brand new phase of my life. I thought it was more like a bullet to the head initially because it left me unemployed (except for a part time, one day a week job) with bills to pay and no retirement savings to speak of. My brain went through all the doomsday scenarios in warp speed including divorce, homelessness and becoming a drunk again. For a man who is positive by nature it was alarming how fast my mind went negative. Thankfully it didn't stay there.
    Sometimes the bad things that happen in your life are not that at all. Perception can be a bitch if skewed improperly. No doubt losing your income can be a shock to the system and I don't recommend it but it can be replaced. The problem is that when you are born with a penis you are identified by your work. It doesn't matter if it's fair or not, it is a fact. Two men can play a round of golf together and afterward not be able to tell you a thing about each other's families but everything about their jobs. Two women can stand in line at Starbucks and be able to write a biography on Ancestry.com about the other person by the time the get a Venti. So when a man loses his job it represents more than income. It represents an identity crisis of sorts. If you are approaching the half century mark it seems much more serious.
   Less than three hours after I was let go I had my schedule changed at Publix to 40 plus hours a week. They were really excited to have me join them full time and created a space on the schedule to make sure I could work enough hours to support myself. Since then there have been two promotions and a third one is imminent. One man's trash may indeed be anothers treasure if this continues. The adjustment to being "just" an hourly employee instead of management has been interesting to say the least. It has been starting over from square one in an industry I knew nothing about. The key is that it was a start, not an end. The company treats employees well and fairly from my perspective. Clearly what I thought was the end of my identity was not. It was an opportunity to thrive in a new career and realize where my true identity lies.
    My character, faith, loyalty, sense of humor, compassion and love for my fellow man define me. Vocations will come and go but the things I do day in and day out identify who I am more than any job ever could. None of us will ever be perfect (especially me) but that doesn't stop me from getting out of bed and trying to be better today than I was yesterday. Part of the depression I have been battling is because I forgot all of what I just wrote. Despite the praise at work about my performance I still felt like I had failed. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. If I had made the choice to give up I would have failed. Instead I chose to start over and lo and behold the sun is beginning to shine again. I can't wait for tomorrow.

Till next......