Eight is enough......

In January of 2003 I took a job managing a very upscale Mexican restaurant. The dress code called for black dress slacks and having owned and tended bar in nothing but blue jeans for twenty years it was time to go shopping. Being the type of man I am I headed straight to the finest tailor to get a pair of custom fitted pants. Unfortunately they were closed because it was two o'clock in the morning so off to Wal-mart I went.

The selection was amazing. They had two different types of dress pants.One of them was obviously aiming for the bourgeois crowd because they wanted $19 for a pair of pants. I could get two cups of coffee at Starbucks for that. The other pair was perfect for an old clothes horse like me. Nine dollars American money. Now I know what you're thinking, "Why doesn't he just wait till tomorrow and get a cheap pair of pants?" Because that's not how I roll. Money is no object when it comes to fashion. Sure I would have to cut out a round of golf to pay for them but that is the price you pay to look the way I do.

I reported for work two days later sporting my new trousers. I'm pretty sure the place came to a dead stop when I walked in. Heads turned and everyone gave me the up and down glance. I am confident that what I saw was envy in the eyes of every man and lust in the eyes of every woman. Much like trying not to look at brilliant sunset too directly they turned away but I saw the looks anyway. When you care enough to spend almost ten dollars on a pair of pants people take notice. And it is a sight not soon forgotten. Kind of like the time you accidentally see your Grandmother naked. It leaves an impression that is not easily erased.

Fast forward to today. After my 5th diet coke of the morning I stepped into the bathroom and lowered my zipper and it split apart. The pants I had poured $9 American hard earned money into had failed me. Disbelief could be the only word to describe the look on my face. It seems like just yesterday I was tearing off the masking tape with $9 written on it. It was eight years and close to 1200 times I had worn the wonder pants and now it is over. I had a marriage that didn't last as long as my pants. Barrack Obama had barely organized his first community when they were bought. The Lions missed the playoffs the year they were bought. (Some things remain unchanged) A gallon of gas cost under two bucks. Shock and Awe happened and that was the nickname for my pants. 5000 people died in a heatwave in France. That one didn't have anything to do with the story but it still tickles me.

This is a testament to why you always pay top dollar for fashion. For eight years I have been resplendent in my black pants. Can you imagine what would have occurred if I bought the other pair. Nations may have risen and fallen from power before I gave those up. So tomorrow it's off to Wal-mart again. I will update you 2019.



Till next.........