The four wheel CEO......

  A couple of weeks ago I heard Jim Cramer, the host of Mad Money talking about living in his car for a period of time. He mentioned another CEO who went through the same experience. My sincere apologies that I can't remember the other man's name but the fact that there was more than two of us made me think it was time to offer some tips to anyone going the mobile domicile route. I do not recommend it but you will see there is a benefit to doing so.
  Most people don't wait till their mid 40's to live in a car but I am an innovator. One morning I woke up with no job, no wife, no house, no money and no ability to see my kids every morning when they woke up. To say that each day was not filled sunshine and lollipops would be the king of understatements. Rather than admit to those who remained close to me (excluding my family it was a short list) I decided to figure it all out myself. As a side note, this particular way of thinking is horrible and should be avoided at all costs. It was my thinking and lack of asking for help that got me where I was, I should have known better. But it was time for me to be resourceful. So I developed a routine that you will think is funny and sad at the same time.
  The first rule of living in one's car is the proper selection of where to park at night when you sleep. Living in Memphis complicated this decision more than a little bit. Memphis is where criminals move away from because the competition is to tough. I selected grocery store parking lots to begin with, until the security guards figured out I wasn't doing much shopping. After exhausting Kroger's patience I went for the hotels. They have a tendency to call the police when they see a man sleeping in his car. Stay away from the hotels.
  Finally I found out what works. I took the last $20 I had in my pocket and joined a 24 health club. At the end of the day when I was through working my 3 jobs to get back on my feet (and in a bed) I would head to the club. After a good workout, I would head to the steam room and then the shower.A valuable tip here is to not fall asleep in the steam room. I came out after a 2 hour nap looking like Pruneface from the Dick Tracy cartoons. The couches in the entryway were an excellent place to catch a couple of winks. The staff was helpful, letting me crash right in the front of the club. I became such good friends with one girl that I heard her asking an incoming guest to keep his voice down because I was napping. I knew then my time was probably running out. The next night I was awakened in my car by a night stick tapping on my window and an officer with an attitude. When he asked where I lived and I pointed to the car he told me to move out of his area. Sympathy has never been a strong suit of the Memphis Police Department.
  Dining when you are homeless and broke is another hurdle to jump. Every morning I would show up with my suit pressed (meaning I hung it in the steam room while I showered) look at my fake Rolex, furrow my brow and head for the front desk. "Has anyone asked for me?" I would say with my best salesman smile. The answer was always no because I didn't know anybody at the hotel. I just wanted the free breakfast. "Do you mind if I have a seat at one of the tables?" Well, who would refuse such a request? Not the front desk at some of the finest hotels in Memphis. I would eat until I tasted bile and then head out the door to get to work. Some of the front desk people eventually knew my name and greeted with a big, "Good Morning, Chris." Blanche Dubois had it right about the kindness of strangers.
  Even the best of free buffets will not hold you for 24 hours. Dinner can be found at Sam's Club or some of the bars around town. I found a car dealership across the street from the liquor store where I took a job working nights that gave away free hot dogs if you were willing to take a test drive of a new pickup truck and take the selling ass whipping in return. Free hot dogs? Give me your best pitch. 2 weeks later the manager came over to me and said I could have the hot dogs without the test drive. Apparently they were running out of salesman. I love it when a plan comes together. I did miss the test drives though. I also took a job with Papa Johns because I needed the money and I knew there would be free food. At the end of the night every pizza place lets the employees eat the mistakes that were made throughout the shift. Is it safe to eat a 5 hour old pizza that has been sitting out at room temperature? Mostly, but constipation was never a problem after partaking of the 'buss tub buffet'. Location of an available restroom was important.
  Three months later I had saved up enough money to get an apartment and get back on the grid. I don't relate this story because it made me mad or bitter. On the contrary it taught me that no matter what the circumstances I will not quit. Fear is one of those things that we all have, some more than others. But once a fear is conquered, it's conquered for good. Do I still fear failing? Yep, but I don't fear losing everything. Been there, done that. Well, not everything really. I didn't lose my faith (questioned it severely) the love of my family and kids and a few friends. If I had said I was homeless I'm sure they would have helped. As it turned out I'm glad I didn't. I haven't gone on to the success of Jim Cramer or the other guy, but I did get back on feet. I did start my own merchant processing business. I did write and publish my first novel. Compared to living in the car, I would have to say I have become somewhat successful.
  I wasn't dating at the time but part of me wanted to hear a woman ask me if we could go back to my place. "Sure, make yourself comfortable, unbuckle the seat belt."

Till Next.....