Where do we surrender?

That was probably the first thing overheard from Nick Sarkozy when he heard Osama Bin Laden was at war with France.


So the enemy of my enemy is mi amigo? Que? El Presidente wants us to attack all the tea parties? Don't little old ladies host tea parties? Why are they are enemies? And they are even Americans aren't they?



"Stand Up Chuck, let em see ya." "Oh my God, what am I thinking?" Anyone actually knowing the answer to VP Joe Bidens question after he asked a wheelchair bound man to stand can send them into to the National Institute of What Goes Though a Buffoons Mind Before He Makes a Complete Ass of Himself, located in Washington D.C. Just put attn: Joe on the envelope. They will know who it's for.



Charlie Sheen and a hooker? What? Charlie Sheen drunk? What? Next you'll tell me that you don't even have to show identification to vote. What? They did. When? Oh, I guess you don't have to show an ID to vote in Arizona. The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled 2 to 1 that it would be unconstitutional. I wonder whose?



So Lindsay Lohan was ordered to stay in rehab over the holidays for fear of what she may do to herself or others around her. Is that the same reason Hillary Clinton will be out of the country on election day.



Can you imagine how pissed off Rosa Parks is going to be when all the old white dudes start piling in the back seat with her?



If the Republicans do not win the House of Representatives on Tuesday a lot of conservatives will be eating crow. Fortunately there will be no added salt, nor will it be cooked with trans fats, injected with hormones or killed in an inhumane way. Thanks Michelle.



When Speaker Pelosi is done in Congress I would like to see if she would ride around on my dashboard for a year. That's like the coolest bobble head ever, dude.



If the HBO show, Six Feet Under, ever comes back I cast Harry Reid as the deceased father who shows up in flashbacks. Make up, zero dollars, still getting to be on TV, priceless.



Full disclosure: I had a friend named Shane who was from Canada and when we were having a few beers one night he gave me $20 to go the beer store to reload. When I returned we had been drinking and I forgot to give him his change. So, technically I have received foreign money and wrote this somewhat political comedy piece. It was also sponsored by the Chamber of Commerce. (just kidding).

Till next....