Two sons...Two report cards....Too bad....

This weekend my two boys, Christopher and Zachary, are in Atlanta to have some fun. But first it was time to show Dad how the first half of the school year went. This is not normally a time for nervousness for the two but they seemed different when I asked them about their grades before Christmas. Both of them said they weren't sure how they came out. Curious?

Upon intense grilling from me during our vacation it was revealed that they both thought a "B" was forthcoming in one of their classes. One "B" and they were worried. Zachary and Christopher have had one each so far in their academic journey. And now they fretted over another one. Priceless. Talk about setting the bar high. They jacked it all the way up to the top. Both had a bad quiz or something like it and thought it doomed the grade. What I found most interesting is the intensity they approach school with. It is impressive.

So it got me to thinking, do we push our kids hard enough? Do we tell them that trying is good enough? Are we expecting "A"s in every subject? How high do we set the bar as parents? The answer in my case is I do expect all "A"s and anything less than that needs an explanation. Why? Because they are equipped mentally to handle to school. If they do not it's because they are not giving it the importance it deserves. When it comes to education I am a tough parent. I will mock and ridicule my kids if they are slacking. Before you start telling me how bad that is for the child keep in mind that all kids are different. Mine know what sarcasm is already. They have heard it every day of their lives. Pretty sure about the mocking as well. Why so tough?

Because during my school years (I was two years behind Noah before he dropped out to build the ark) I slacked a lot. I seem to remember that I had plenty of brain power but no focus. My grades were much better than average and I didn't care a bit. One and half years of collage and it was on to cold beer and hot women. Okay, at least I knew what the beer was like. Anyway, life has been very good to me but it could have, and should have been easier. With a small amount of focus I would have had at least one or two degrees. The reason I push the boys so hard is out of love. I don't want them to have to work as hard as I did. They should be able to make a living and make a life. They won't be afraid of hard work but it would be nice if they had an option or two.

The report cards were straight "A"s again. Turns out they were worried over nothing. I was not surprised at all. I expect to see those grades. And if there comes a time where they get worse I will probably mock and then hug them. Kid them and then laugh with them. Too bad they don't know this but they already graduated with honors in my heart. Because they get straight "A"s in kindness, respect, compassion, love and forgiveness from me. If I tell them it's okay to get a "B" now, they might start doing it. And that would be my fault for lowering the bar.



Till next.....

A $2.00 gas card..The good old days

It occurred to me the other day when I bought a fifty dollar gas and only spent forty eight that I now had a $2.00 gas card. That gives me just enough to drive to the next gas station, pull up a chair and talk about the good old days when I used to have a $2.00 gas card. Maybe I could bring a block of wood and whittle a baby duck. Tell some of the many stories I have of past glory. Start chewing tobacco so I could spit to add false tension at key moments of the tale. Gaze somewhere off in the distance as if looking for a memory that I can't quite grasp. Or.....

Realize that the good old days are all around right now. When I was younger and had no responsibilities other than a job I spent my time going to rock concerts and sporting events. Not a day went by where I didn't get my drunk on. And all that time I thought how great high school had been. The good old days of sneaking around the school. Hanging out with my best friends everyday telling jokes, smoking rope, playing sports and trying to get a date. The minute I graduated, my high school career became the good old days.

Then along came a couple of marriages and two kids. The stories around the bar switched to rock concerts and ball games. The good old days of no one to answer to except the police officer who pulled you over or the bartender asking you if you want another. Overnight benders at the Rolling Stones concert. Three day binge at the Texas Jam in Houston. Being removed from several events for being just a little too vocal teasing the opposing team. All stories re-told with a positive bent to them. Revisionist history is the term. The people who shared some of these times would probably have a much different idea of good old days.

Now the good old days seem to be the everyday battles without terrorists threats back in the 1990's. Tales of the bars I owned and the great people who frequented them. Stories of being and becoming sober. The last moments of addiction when my behavior was so ridiculous that my family and closest friends pretty much stopped talking to me. These were considered good old days because I won. Because I lost. I couldn't beat booze or dope. So to make them the good old days I quit fighting. Now the drunk stories are good old days tales of yore.

It proves where I and most other people have missed the whole point. Would you do what you did in High School now and think it was good? Could you behave now like you did right after college and still hold a job? Have a long term, meaningful type of relationship? Yet we sure look back with fondness on those times don't we? Then we complain about today and tomorrow and how times of changed. No they have not. We have. The good old days of ten years from now are right now. Enjoy them now instead of spending your time thinking how good it used to be. It was never that good back then and it isn't that bad now. Our own nature works against us. We have trouble enjoying the moments as they happen because we move so fast. "What's next?" is our mantra. Mine included.

What if, at the end of each day we sat down and looked back with fondness and happiness of the day that just ended? Or if it was a tough day look back and think of how tomorrow could be better? Can you imagine how great you would feel mentally if everyday you went to bed without having to drag your problems from one day to the next? I can't tell you how much fun it is to have the good old days everyday now. Is my world any different than most? Nope. Just the way I look at it. Even my bad days are good old days. It's all in perception. The good old days were when I started writing this blog. So, smile and enjoy the day. Because tomorrow, today became a good old day.



Till next......