Charles Karult got nothing on me.....

For those old enough to remember his "On the Road" series for CBS he used to drive across the country and report on moose in Montana or rats in Rhode Island or whatever. The last 8 days I have logged almost 5 thousand miles on the highways of our great land and have a few observations that I would like to share with you. In no particular order.

First thing I noticed is Abe Lincoln must have been one heck of a guy.Most every state I drove through tried to lay claim to him. Kentucky proudly announced he was born there. (Always nice to know where the presidents were born) Illinois is the "Land of Lincoln" just like the license plates say. Kentucky didn't say, "we suck so bad he left" so they must not be too proud of it. Because I can tell you what Kentucky is proud of. Whiskey. And a lot of it. They have a "whiskey trail" that you can go through several distilleries and see how it is made. And sample. It is a winding, no, staggering trail right through the middle of the state.

When we drove into Wisconsin it took a while to see what they hung their hat on. And then I saw it. "Wisconsin arrests drunk drivers". Boy, I bet the Chamber of Commerce is still pissed off about that one. Beats "Home of Jeffrey Dahmer" I suppose. Maybe they should go with a beer trail like Kentucky. Both states seem like they would be entertaining with a pretty good buzz on. What if the whiskey and beer trail could meet somewhere? Now that would be cool.

Which brings us to Indiana. Right in between the two states. And the state we spent the most time driving through. Shovel ready projects do exist. This is where the stimulus money should have been spent. The highways of the Hoosier state have more holes in them than a Tiger Woods alibi. It seemed to be the flattest state by far of the 6 we went in and out of so fixing a pothole shouldn't be that hard. Hoosier highway commissioner? Things are pretty bad when you look toward Kentucky with envy. For a state that bills itself as the "Crossroads of America" they might think of improving the condition of the roads. At least Kentucky will get you drunk so you don't notice. And in Wisconsin you will be driving so slow avoiding the speed traps you won't be worried about potholes. The people were very nice though. Polite and helpful.

Which leads me over to Michigan. I did get lost going to my childhood home for the third time in a row. Different route each time. Different time of day each time. Different wife laughing her ass off each time. But once I found my way home I realized how little the people I grew up with had changed. And I mean that in a good way. The area hadn't exactly turned into a scene from Blade Runner either. It was harder to keep up with the places that went out of business compared to the new ones that started up. A few of the roads had changed but I got lost on the old ones so I didn't mind. Oddly enough, I couldn't find anything about Lincoln in the state.

My apologies to the late Charles Karult. His segments were better than mine. But in my defense I didn't have a secret second life with an extra woman and a couple of kids that no one knew about. If you can pull that off then a 4 minute segment on the wombats of Walla Walla Washington is child's play. Try keeping two families happy and in the dark at the same time. Any man who can do that has skills I haven't even imagined. I bet he kept a full tank of gas in that RV at all times. Just in case he had to get "On the road" in a big hurry.

Till next........