How to be a great parent from 400 miles away!

There is a book title I have yet to see. And the reason is because nobody has written a book with that title. Divorce and blended families have become so common over the past 40 years that there is no stigma. And there shouldn't be. The statistics will show eventually that kids from divorced parents will turn out the same as children whose parents stayed married. At first the difference was large and it will probably continue narrowing every year. I came from a perfect home and was a self made disaster by age 15. Many of my friends came from divorced parents and were never arrested or addicted to anything other than caffeine. No sane person can think to themselves, once we do have some kids we can just split and then we get some free alone time.

So let me give my advice on long distance parenting. When you get that first phone call and your child is crying remember rule number one: Do not start crying with them. They need you for stability not blubbering away with them. Once you hang up the phone feel free to whimper, moan, scream and wail. Then I usually head for the freezer and some ice cream. Because at this point you will feel like the greatest failure on two legs. When they call you on the phone and tell you they wish you lived closer remember rule number two: Do not start crying. This is very similar to rule one only this time they are not crying. State clearly and in a soothing voice that you wish you were closer too but it's important to have a good job so you can go to a good school..blah blah blah. At this point you are talking more for your sanity. They have already accepted your first line of bullshit and moved on.

As most of you have already figured out there is no answer or magic to this. This blog was written for parents like myself who have to tell themselves daily that they do matter to their kids even if they are far away. Or if you are a parent who is on the road a lot. The impact we have is not measured in time but in quality. How much love can you give your child when you are with them? Do they know how special they are? Do they know how proud of them you are? Do they know the difference between right and wrong? If the answers to these questions are yes then we are good parents no matter the distance. So don't beat yourself to a pulp when you get a phone call. Breathe deep and don't cry.

I had a completely different blog laid out for today until my 11 year old called me tonight. So this is what I changed to. It's off to the freezer for my stash of Blue Bell........

Till next..........