Never judge a man till you have walked in his clown shoes.

For those who know me well will certainly attest I have always been a fashion disaster. If it is possible to wear something that has either gone out of style or was never in style, I own it. Last evening we decided to go to see Secretariat. That was the easy part. Because I quit smoking in August the clothes that normally would be in the rotation are not. 25 extra pounds of sexy blubber has made it difficult if not impossible to get into my regular blue jeans. I did manage to find a pair that actually slipped over my new found belly without sucking in so hard to button them that the buttons on my shirt started popping. Even when I attempted simple tasks such has walking and sitting the pain and loss of blood flow wasn't to extreme.

Just to make sure the look I was throwing down would turn a few heads I wore my best sneakers. The problem was the jeans went out of style sometime in the 90's. They fit tight right at the ankles which managed to make my size 11 shoe look like a pair of clown shoes. If I had a bow tie that would squirt water it would have been perfect. We rode to the movies in a tiny little car and 16 of us got out. Not really, but with the jeans and shoes I could have made it work.

When we were walking up to get the tickets a homeless dude looked at me and shook his head. He asked if I needed some clothes. I laughed and stole two wheels off his shopping cart. Take that cardboard mayor! Does he think just because he is destitute that he gets to call me out on my duds? Fact of the matter is he was better dressed than I was and I didn't mind. That may be the real issue here. If you do not care about wearing clown shoes it's not you who is embarrassed. So I will now turn my attention to more important matters. In the last two days I have written about religion and fashion. The only thing I know less about is successful relationships with women. That will be next.





Till next.....