Oh no. Not another a hat!!

Let's talk Christmas gifts. What do get for the man who has everything? I have heard women ask this question before without understanding the fundamental bedrock principal that no man has everything he wants. Any man would welcome a new car. Or season tickets. Or a tropical vacation. Or any other number of things. So the real statement should be what am I willing to spend on him because he already has most of the useless crap he needs or wants. Now that we have some parameters lets move forward.

At my age I know I am getting books from my kids. That's good because I love to read. My Grandpa always got ties and socks from us kids. He always managed to look excited. I wonder if he ever wore any of them? I doubt it. Where was I? Oh yes we were on presents. Ladies, a man will always tell you what he wants just not directly. Usually it will come in the middle of a rant or just plain bitching. For instance, "I shot a frigging 98 today. Not much of a surprise with that old driver I'm trying to hit". What he means is "Honey I would love the new driver I saw at the golf shop for Christmas". Your man is paying you the greatest compliment of all. He knows how smart and perceptive you are. He knows it would be gauche to come out and ask for his gift. He is allowing you to use that famous women's intuition to make him happy. Yes, I realize how stupid it is that we think we married Yoda and you will use the force to shop. We are not very smart.

Speaking of stupid, men are not very creative or perceptive. Or sensitive or self aware or a lot of other things. But if we have a list of things to get, we can get them. No guarantees on the proper size. It is important to keep in mind that we are easily distracted as well. Shiny objects like a uniform or a beer tap tend to throw us off track quickly. When mapping out our journey try to steer us clear of such items. Nothing says eternal love quite like a gift certificate. We are bad ass when it comes to the old GC's as we like to call them. Just name the store and the amount babe, we are all over it. The nearest thing to guy proof shopping.

To summarize, women need to have the skills of a physic ninja to figure out what gift to get for Christmas while the man merely hopes for a list of stores and amounts to fill his shopping list.

Fairness is obviously not part of this equation. It is not. The good news for the women is that the day after Christmas your man has forgotten if you bought him a gift at all. And if he wakes up without being super glued together anywhere than he knows he must have done OK. Tis the season to be jolly......

Till next.....