Why do all the Mega churches have to use a police car to get out of the parking lot after the service? If you are walking with God, a timely merge into traffic to beat the heathens to IHOP seems a bit out of focus.
If everyone who goes to church does a 10% tithe and then leaves a 20% tip at IHOP, are they saying the waitress is worth twice as much as the church?
Is it really just a coincidence that most services end 30 minutes before the football games kick off? Somewhere a conversation probably sounded like this. "I know you created Heaven and Earth but if we don't move our end time up we are going to lose half the south every Sunday."
We used to string popcorn for tree decorations. Since I quit smoking I cannot be trusted to handle food products. Last night I cooked 12 hot dogs and said I was using them for tree decorations. Nobody bought it.
The evolution of decorations is odd. We started with cheap items that could be made at home and progressed to slick marketing tools for all. Jenna Jameson ornament anyone? Try and make sense out of that one. Agnostic tree ornaments? Yep. Got those out there too. I say we go back to popcorn and cranberries. Not an Orville Redenbacher bulb or a Cranberries CD. Never mind.
At one time I had a Texas Rangers bulb, Detroit Lions bulb and Dallas Mavericks bulb (this is in the 1990's when the Mavs sucked). And I always bought the most beautiful Christmas trees every year. Kind of like Angelina Jolie with that vial of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around around her neck. Absolutely beautiful until you see what hanging off it. Then it's just creepy.
A bad quarterback and a great preacher are the only people I know who can make 50,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ" at the same time.
If God didn't want us to watch football why did he invent big screen TVs? The game would be much less exciting if we had to wait for those monks to scribe the score and get it out to us.
Smile on this beautiful day the Lord had made, you could be a Lions fan....
Till next.........
Looking at life through the odd mix of optimism, sarcasm, love and humor and not always in that order.
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